So drunk its hurt
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You're like the curious george of whores
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
