ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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