i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Sorry about my life...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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