I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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