He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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