So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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