i may or may not be watching the land before time
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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