you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
