Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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