thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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