Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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