So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
