I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
