so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
