I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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