Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
