somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just want nice things and good sex
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
