I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
