he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
