oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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