these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
