my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
