im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
