i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
This house was built for laser tag.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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