it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
