"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
