Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
