i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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