So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
