im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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