found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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