Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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