Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
