i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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