bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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