You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
