Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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