Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
