I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
