she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
