Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
