oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
