Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
