No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Come share oat with me in your robe
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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