Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Randomize
