I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
