Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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