I bet he comes in French.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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