I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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