and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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